Friday, January 30, 2015

Drama at school and maintaining good frame

This is something that has been ongoing. So let me start from the beginning.

I started work at my school in early October. I work at Lycee Thoedore Deck in small town called Guebwiller.

Since this is my third time doing an overseas program like this I felt like I was quite prepared for this new experience. That is why I haven't really written an dedicated post about my school life here. And to be fair it has been quite relaxed and calm here. There are just certain things about the way my schedule is run that I do not like.

I work 12 hours a week. My hours change everyweek because I am working with the whole school. So in order for me to achieve this the teachers write their names on a schedule prior to the start of the week. This is a bad system for both me and the students. It is bad for me because I don't have a fixed schedule. Therefore it is very difficult to plan trips. Sometimes I come into school for 1 hour and go home right after. In this case the whole day is wasted because I cannot leave my small town. Thus my social life suffers. Other times I come into the school for 2 hours but there is a 4 hour gap in between the classes, once again my social life suffers. Now this system of work hours is also bad for the students because they do not have continuation with my classes. Because I am seeing so many students, I estimate I will see each student for my class only up to 3 times in the whole school year! This means it is hard to build up that rapport with students, I cannot build upon my lessons and furthermore, the students cannot be expected to remember what I taught them last class.

The old me would have just seen this problem and quietly taken it sitting down. But as it stands I saw the problem, considered possible solutions and (tried to) work out a solution with my collegues. 

I scheduled a meeting with my responsable at the school Aurelie and I presented her with my situation eliciting empathy and using active listening. She was quite responsive and listened to my arguments. I presented her with the solutions as I saw them:

1. Have a fixed schedule of working 3 days (that moves every week). For example work Monday-Wednesday week 1, then work Tuesday-Thursday week 2. This way I get to still see all the classes like they wanted (even though I think that is a bad idea for the reasons I mentioned earlier)

2. Stack my hours so I work 24 hours a week instead of 12 hours a week. Then I get one week off.
Aurelie said that is not legal.

3. Just have one day off and work 4 days.

At the meetings end it was very amiable and Aurelie sais she thinks we can do #3. Not my first choice but alas cest la vie and still better than before of working 5 days.

Fast forward to today, Aurelie told me she talked with the other teachers and they will try to give me at least Monday off but it is not do-able every week. I did not want them to make this overtly nice gesture but then simply fall back on their escape clause. Thus I pushed harder; to which Aurelie got physiologically defensive and her body language changed. She intoned that I was lazy and my only objective in France was to play and have a good time. I wasn't going to lie, those are both true. Thus I responded with: "You know you are right Aurelie, my main motivation this year is to travel, learn French and have a good time. I am not trying to become a teacher in the future. But I maintained my frame through the whole conversation and did not lose my cool. She was taken back by my honesty. Also I high fived her in the end like a boss haha.

I was quite proud and happy about this interaction. In fact this is the reason why I am writing this post. It shows my progress of self development. Where as previously I would have bottled up my thoughts and emotions or expressed them in an angry outburst. Now I am able to be like water and simply take the shape of the cup. Furthermore whereas before I would have ruminated on the conversation and what took place, now I can simply relax and not let these external circumstances affect my frame. I felt happy throughout the day despite this interaction.

Will update with more to come. I was actually considering simply quitting as well at one point last month since my self development has stagnated since coming to France. But now I think this presents a new challenge and I have one other MAJOR reason for staying here to which you already know ;)

Peace from Guebwiller.

P.S. Came by this article which pretty much sums up my frame of mind at this point, although I need to work harder too. http://markmanson.net/not-giving-a-fuck





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