Identity

Identity is who we are as a person.  I identify myself as a young person,  a male, a Chinese Canadian etc. 

Many of our identities have a direct relationship with how we perceive ourselves and by extension how others perceive us.

With the passing years I have had to change my identity many times. 

I was quite shy growing up.  In fact prior to university I don't think I have ever had a conversation with a girl for more than 5 minutes.  This changed after high school and I slowly came out of my shell and started to increase my social skills.

In University I switched my major from Life Science to Philosophy and Psychology and that was another big change in identity.  I changed from identifying with being a pre-med student to not sure what I am going to do.  Although at the time I thought I had all the time in the world to decide so wasn't bother by it. 

Living in Korea and abroad after university was yet another big change.  It really exposed me to many new and interesting things.  I came to love the edge.  The place where we are out of our comfort zones and feel adrenaline rushing through your whole body.  Almost everyday was a "newness" that can only be experienced and not described fully in word. 

That identity of seeking the edge and living out side of my comfort zone became my norm.  While living in Quebec I recognized I was stagnating,  slowly degenerating into a routine. Everyday it was work,  games and rock climbing or hockey.  Yet I was not bothered by it because my main identity as a young person still remained in tact.  I still felt the fountain of youth coursing through my body.

During the summer of my Quebec séjour I developed fully my player identity.  I began to pick up girls on a daily basis and it became like a game for me.  At the time I thought this is great! I was having lots of fun and getting out of my comfort zone everyday. 

In France I developed my traveler identity and fell in love with adventure traveling.  I biked on my own from Monaco to Spain. 

Why am I telling you all of this? Because I am unhappy in Canada.  I feel like I am in a rut. Some days it takes all my energy just to get out of bed.  I think it all has to do with a breakdown in identity. 

So my identity up to this point is I am a young adventurer and world traveler who is amazing with women. 

Yet in Canada almost all of these identity are breaking down. I am no longer young,  27 is only 3 more years from 30. The benchmark of a successful 30 year old leaves me very little time to get my shit together.  The identity of world traveler and adventure has been squashed due to my airbnb venture.  I have to stay here for at least 1 year to manage my properties.  Finally the identity of a Casa Nova is also in jeperody,  I am in a dry spell. 

So what is the cure? I don't claim to have a perfect solution but so far my solutions has been: abandon all the identity that are not serving me and structure new ones based on my location. 

Not young anymore? No problem I am a relatively young person.  Not an adventurer or world traveler? No problem - I am an entrepreneur working on my career goals.  Not a Casa Nova? No problem -  I am a young professional seeking a meaningful relationship. 

Will these identities be here to stay? No. Identity is and should always be fluid.  I am just starting to realize this fact.  In the future I might revert back to some or all of these identities but above all they should serve ME. 

*This was last written a couple of month back, my situation has improved dramatically in Toronto :D 

Peace from Toronto.